so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
