You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
