Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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