hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
