We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
