Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
BRING THE BAGELS
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
