he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
