I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
is that a dick in a sweater?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
