Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
