two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just forgot I was standing up.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
