Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
