doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
