too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
