I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
i think we sleep fucked last night...
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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