She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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