My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
