The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
