It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize