i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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