you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
operation harelip BJ is a go
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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