I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
