does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Randomize
