she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
