I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
