Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I love you. Go after that dick
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize