38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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