I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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