I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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