We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
