idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my sisters under your porch take her home
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
