No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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