I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
