I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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