Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
