Life is so much better after having sex.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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