I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
