There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
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