Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
