Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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