Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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