sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize