Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Randomize