i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
