Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
