since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Can you bring me the toilet please
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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