Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
there was a trapeze. enough said
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I have feelings that need drinking.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Randomize
