He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
