i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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