You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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