im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
