The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
