Who did Billy Mays play for?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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