Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
