He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
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