dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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