Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
She needs sedatives and a leash
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize