i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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