idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
