he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
only you would photoshop your dick
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize