I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
