How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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