Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
